Family Maim, I Mean, Game Time!

Whoever came up with the idea of “Family Games” was a sadistic person, I am sure of this.  When I was a child, every year I got a Monopoly game for Christmas.  I hated that game,  I never once requested that game, yet every year I received it. Every year when I opened it I saw the little evil grin on my Dad’s face and I knew, this was his form of revenge.

Every year someone buys one of my children a Monopoly game.  I still hate the game and yet every year it shows up again.  The kids think they want to play it.  They drag it out of the closet, knocking many other things down in the process of course, open it up and it takes me a good half hour to sort the whole thing out, find all the pieces, figure out how much money we all get, put the cards together properly,etc.  By the time I have finished getting the game set up the kids have grown bored and left anyway.  Now of course since I spent all this time setting up the stupid game I am determined that we will all play, like it or not.

Every one gathers at the table, Melissa is already cheating, Mark is in hysterics laughing at a joke only he heard and Chris is trying to figure out where the dice are.  No one ever knows whose turn it is, who is landing where or why, rules are created and destroyed with each move. Somehow a plastic penguin and a potato chip are in the lead, Melissa is discovered hoarding the dice and Mark is already picking out the next game to play.  Chris hollers, “Bingo”, I announce that I won the game since I was the only one to set it up and take it down again, but no one hears me.

Chris is sticking a deck of Zombie War Cards in everyone’s face, trying to get players, Melissa is waving a Connect Four Game around, Mark is juggling Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit and Battle Ship, I am trying to catch a cold to get out of playing anything.  We end up in the living room, huddled on a small rug in front of the WII System.  Oh, this will be a blood bath and I know it, but at least it will be fun.

First we try baseball.  Regardless of who plays, we all lose.  We tie at zero to zero.  When we swing, we tend to whack into each other, when throwing the ball, we dislocate our shoulders, and Melissa and I tend to bite or kick each other to throw off the game.  Next comes tennis, which isn’t much better.  I never really figure out how to hit the ball and end up flailing madly across the room while everyone laughs at me.  After that is bowling which both myself and Melissa are actually good at.  Problem is, we are a little competitive with each other and end up in a wrestling match on the rug instead of paying attention to the game.  While Melissa and I are thrashing about, Chris and Mark take the WII remotes away and start to play WII golf.

To us girls, golf in any form is the most boring sport possible.  Watching anyone play WII golf is like watching dust accumulate…no, its like watching stairs…be stairs.  Yeah, that boring.  While Chris and Mark play golf, Melissa and I wander off to do something else, like eat all of Mark’s chocolate out of his trick or treat bag, or make Chris’s avatar on his Warcraft game do something embarrassing….ahhh…bonding time.


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