No Silent Night Here

Sleepless Nights, Unholy Nights

kids never calm, keep us up all night

at least let me go to the bathroom alone,

and daddy’s running away from home….

Do you know what happens when your children have not let you sleep for over four nights?  Chris and I do.  Allow me to share…

Since Mark has had his medications changed his sleep cycle is off. So is Melissa’s since Mark convinced her that the Nutcrackers are demonic. We have tried everything to get them to sleep.  We have tried adding a fan, adding a heater, adding blankets, adding music, adding a continual Spongebob movie and most recently I added a crazed Jesuit priest that specializes in exorcism.  It has all failed.

Then we tried musical rooms.  We snuggled on couches, shared beds, rubbed feet, massaged backs and tried light strangulation.  No luck.  Chris tried letting Mark sleep with him in our bed.  Mark slammed his bulk against Chris then heavy breathed and slurped in his ear.  Chris said it was like sleeping with Hannibal Lector.  I became so tired and desperate the other night that while Mark laid next to me on the couch, jabbering non stop, I put on a vampire movie for him to watch.  It wouldn’t put him to sleep, but perhaps it would scare him speechless and I could cat nap.

The lack of sleep is really starting to affect Chris and myself.  All morning Chris wandered in circles muttering to himself.  I went to the store and scared the hell out of the manager there.  Not only did my hair look like I suffered an electrical shock, I kept staring blankly, going aisle to aisle trying to remember what I wanted.  It took three trips to and from the store before I remembered everything I wanted to buy.

The most noticeable sign that I must get sleep soon is I decided to buy bacon at the store and cook it for lunch.  When I was cooking the bacon I realized I forgot to buy paper towels and of course I need something to put on the plate…still with me?  So I grabbed the first clean white thing I saw and used it.  Chris stood in front of the counter, staring at his underwear that was on the plate,desperately trying to understand why his underwear was covered in bacon….


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