Its the Plague! Grab Your Zinc and Run!

Hello again.  I stare out the window, watching the blackish mounds of ice and snow slowly melt away.  The sun has returned and I can actually see a little dirt here and there.  Is it cold outside?  Is anyone out there?  At four the mailman comes by and drops mail…sometimes its even for us!  It’s very exciting!

All around me is the sound of coughing, sneezing and sniffling.  Tissues and little plastic buckets everywhere. The smell of cough syrup hovers and mixes uneasily with the musk of ferret.  Even the damn ferret is sick.  Laundry breeds in little piles everywhere now…towels, wash cloths, pajamas, blankets and many, many single left socks….why the left ones?

Slowly but steadily the ferret is moving every possession we own under the couch.  CVS Pharmacy knows me by name now.  Lets see my list today, hmm, oh yes, tissues, Vick’s Vapor Rub,Cough Syrup, Excedrin Migraine, Advil, Tylenol for fevers, new thermometer since the ferret stole my other one, juice and Popsicles.

Everywhere I look there is a mound of blankets with squirming, moaning pale bodies.  I am the only survivor.  A groaning Mark informed me that over the weekend he must complete a poster and research paper on The Lost City of Atlantis.  He promptly fell asleep after handing me a sketchy report that has been hastily Googled.  Looks like I have a good project to keep me busy in between being a somewhat incompetent Florence Nightingale.

Melissa sounds like the Godfather when she speaks.  Mark looks like the zombie virus has finally caught him and Chris asked that I donate his body to science.  As I empty buckets, hand tissues around, I am forced to watch endless episodes of Dr Who and Mad TV.  Over and over, they fight over who gets to watch what.  I think the ferret has discovered the childrens’ bedroom  because he came flying through the living room covered in glitter, clutching a Barbie dress in his little teeth and he apparently got stuck in Melissa’s fairy wings…I never saw a ferret with wings before.  I would’ve helped him out of the wings but I was too busy laughing.

Spring, please come soon..maybe the nice air will blow away the plague and I can go outside again.  I want to see some grass and maybe a flower, dammit, is that too much to ask?

I must go now, Melissa needs ice cream and a foot rub.  Mark wants to know how the Atlantis project is coming along and Chris hasn’t left the bathroom in three hours now.  I will put a quarantine sign up on our door.  Ugh.


2 thoughts on “Its the Plague! Grab Your Zinc and Run!

  1. Love it! I love when I get the time to read your writings. I enjoy them so much. Can’t help but remember the days of you reading your stories to me while lounging out in you bedroom, picking at your bedspread… a 12.5yo tales of kidnappers taking the kidnap-ee out for fried chicken, cheesy heroic romance and Hermie’s travels. You were always the storyteller and I so enjoyed being your audience. Can you believe that was over 26 years ago? Bravo! The writer/storyteller lives on and lives long!

  2. My GOD!!! over 26 years ago! wow!
    do you remember the night gowns my grandmother had given me? and the SOS nylons????
    i STILL have those written stories somewhere in a box…the Kentucky fried chicken kidnapping is my classic i think…lol
    thanks for reading my stuff and still laughing at it!

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