Memo To Family From Mother

To All Family Members:

There are some new updates for you to be aware of and shall be posted in every room.

BATHROOM

When the tub is full of water, please shut off faucets.  This can be hard to judge so here are some pointers.  If you notice things floating OUTSIDE of the tub, such as towels, ferrets or parents, it is time to shut the water off.

Another small reminder here: if you are using the shower, please shut curtains WHILE you use the shower, it does no good to shut curtains AFTER you are done.

Also, just because you see ten clean folded towels, it is NOT required to use ALL of them to dry off.  Only one towel per each body part please.

The bathroom has a sink.  It is white in color.  If you see it in any other color, wipe it out.  The sink has a drain for water to go down into the pipes.  This drain does NOT accept band aids, hair, bars of soap, toys or ferrets, shoving will NOT help.

Please think of the toilet as your friend.  It is always there when you need it.  There is a small silver handle on the tank, this is a most helpful device!!  When you are done using the toilet, press on the handle and let the magic happen.  Certain things do not belong in the toilet and will NOT flush, some of these things include toothbrushes, bad report cards and siblings.

KITCHEN

This had been mentioned many times before and seems to need to be said again: FOOD COOKED IN OVEN WILL ALWAYS COME OUT HOT.  FOOD IN FREEZER OR FRIDGE WILL COME OUT COLD.

When waiting for supper to finish cooking in oven or for ice to freeze in freezer, it will NOT make anything quicker to keep opening doors “to check”

Empty boxes, cartons, bottles and bags serve no purpose, use them for an art project or dispose of them.

Any person found eating more than a half pound of ANYTHING as a snack must be prepared to make financial arrangements.

DINING ROOM

The family computer does NOT eat or drink.  Please do not try to feed it.  There are two phones in this room.  Sometimes they ring and want to tell someone something.  This should NOT signal a stampede.  No call is worth a trampling death.  If the person calling wants to sell you something, do NOT try to counter-sell them.  No one calling wants to hear you burp, sing, whistle or tell a dirty joke…NO ONE.

LIVING ROOM

This room has two couches and one chair.  This room should not contain wrestling matches, circus acts, wars, or launches of any sort.  There is one television and it can only show one program at a time, this cannot be stressed enough!

Using the WII system should not create a full contact sport.

A little note on drink and snacks in this room.  If you can no longer identify what the food or drink is, dispose of it.  Use a barrel for trash, there are NO barrels in or under the couches.

BEDROOMS

These rooms are designed for sleeping, reading, playing and enjoying music.  They are NOT meant for explosions, fires, floods, or biology experiments of any kind.  Do not drive or sail any vehicles in these rooms.  Children and Ferrets cannot fly and should not be seen doing so in these rooms.  It is illegal to have more than eighty children at a time in these rooms.  It is illegal to make it SOUND like there are more than eighty children in these rooms.

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