Everytime You Are Mean to Mommy, God kills a kitten!!

Okay, so maybe I need some better curses and threats to launch at my family, but you use what you have on hand.  Christmas was survived and most decorations are packed away.  Grim Reaper is still wearing a little Santa hat, gold tinsel still whacks our heads when we open the front door, but the worst it all cleared away now.  Here are some updates.  Very exciting.  Try to stay awake at least!  Darn it, sit up and at least pretend you are interested!

Two weeks ago our microwave died.  I never knew how much I relied on that black heap of plastic until it broke.  I am heating water for tea in a saucepan while trying to defrost a frozen chicken in a sink of warm water.  Try reheating food in the oven while my son Timekeeper Mark stands over me with a watch and a whip.

Melissa tells me she feels her  food does not contain the main ingredients for a well-balanced diet, you know, tomatoes, cucumbers and double stuffed Oreo cookies.  Try making a casserole out of that!?

We are now up to three ferrets.  That is one poop to every corner.  Now I can say without being a bit dramatic that my day is shitty.

I have decided spring cleaning may need to happen early.  Small things seem to be getting ahead of me.  My dust has dust.  When i open the fridge, leftovers are singing “We Shall Overcome”.  I cannot seem to remember where I left the kitchen sink.  I am hoping some of the dishes, glasses, mugs and bowls will tell me.

Chris and i have started watching Kitchen Nightmares.  Every time we see this show we must eat.  We watched a Kitchen Nightmares marathon the other night and we gained ten pounds each.  My daughter wants to know when our babies are due and wonders how Dad will fit in maternity clothes.

Thank goodness January is almost over.  I promised myself I would lose weight, clean the house, organize things and pull my world together before February.  So if I can just procrastinate a few more days…..


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