Stop scaring that teacher or you are grounded!

Talking with school officials is my second favorite thing to do.  My first being jumping off a small stool to land headfirst onto a tack.  Here are some lovely examples of just this year:

Received a call from the Director of Mark’s school that Mark had made “death threats” in a loud voice.  I was informed that he was lectured, told that such things could lead to police action and could not “say” death threats to anyone. Mark would be sent home for the rest of the day.

Two days later I get another call from the Director.  Mark was mad at a teacher so wrote on a hallway blackboard the teachers name and the picture of a machete.  His defense was that he did not SAY anything.

Mark’s new counselor at the school likes to call me.  All the time.  She seems to be confused that he has special needs at his special needs school.  I received a call that she felt he may be having a breakdown.  Of course I became concerned and asked what his symptoms were.  The counselor told me Mark was playing with imaginary friends Bobo the Monkey and Flipper the dolphin rather than doing his work.  I told her that it sounded like Mark was goofing off.  She became stiff and angry.  “I don’t think you are very concerned for your child, Mrs. Casey.  This could be seen as a neglectful situation.”  Really?  I asked to speak with Mark on the phone and I asked him what he was doing.  He said, “Well, the woman wants to treat me like I am crazy so I didn’t want to disappoint her”  I told Mark to stop poking the stupid people and get his work done.  Half hour later I receive another call from the counselor.  In an abashed tone she said that Mark had apologized for teasing her and went back to doing his schoolwork.

Melissa said to her teacher, “Please don’t give me anymore math homework because it really confuses my mom.”

I discovered a note in Melissa’s backpack from her very worried teacher.  She said that Melissa cannot continue to receive school lunches without any pay, but if i was having trouble affording food to send, she could send me some information to obtain food.  A quick trip to visit the teacher and we discovered in Melissa’s desk over ten packed lunches and enough lunch money to take her class to Chucky Cheese for a week.

Can you imagine what these school officials would think if they knew my children bonded with us by laying on couches, covered in blankets watching Hell Raiser, zombie movies and evil dolls that chase children?  If they knew that my daughter got rid of all her Barbies by having her brother help her create “Execution Day”?   Tell you what though, my two kids are the cutest little demons to ever have been spawned.  Even the crazed Jesuit priest we hired for the exorcism thinks so!

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